Sanjaya: I'm in Your Corner

I am a snob. I dislike most of pop culture - by which I mean, prime time TV, blockbuster movies, top 40 music, and so on. This is not posturing, and I don't take secret and guilty pleasure in watching and listening to the majority of what the rest of America is paying attention to. This excerpt from Wikipedia pretty well captures everything that causes my confusion and disdain, I would assume:

On March 19, 2007, Howard Stern announced that he was launching a campaign with his listeners to vote for Malakar to win the competition. Some Stern regulars, such as Jeff The Drunk, have claimed to have voted for Malakar at least 300 times -- largely in hopes of tormenting Wack Pack member and American IdolEric the Midget. The weblog Vote for the Worst has Malakar as its current "pick" for the sixth season top 12 after previous candidates Antonella BarbaSundance Head were eliminated.

A few American Idol fans who use MySpace have claimed to be on hunger strikes. Other members of the MySpace online community who liked Sanjaya created a page entitled Team Sanjaya in support for him. However, members of the online community have contributed semi-fictional web sites such as Sanjaya-Idol, appearing to portray Sanjaya in a more satirical but supportive way. A 13-year-old girl named Ashley Ferl was highlighted repeatedly during Malakar's performance in the Top 11 episode, crying tears of joy, although Ferl also cried for Melinda Doolittle, Jordin Sparks, and many other contestants.

Last night, while I was working in my parents' study, the shouting started. "Sanjaya! It's Sanjaya! Sanjaya's on!" My parents were in their bedroom, watching TV. My parents do not watch American Idol and have never seen Sanjaya perform before. I'm not sure how they found out about him, but I'm not sure how they could have avoided it. "You can come in after the commercial!" my dad added, helpfully.

I wandered in. I had no choice. Standing in the doorway to my parents' room, dark save for the blue glow of the television, I watched Sanjaya sing. Curly locks framing his face, seated, making playful eyes at the camera that circled him, Sanjaya performed a soulful rendition of "Besame Mucho." Soulful, for a 17 year old. After the performance, as Simon Cowell begrudgingly told Sanjaya that his singing "was not terrible" (or whatever), my parents laughed, made gleeful noises, exulted. Another victory for Team India.

Between yesterday and today, I've decided that I like Sanjaya. I like Sanjaya for many reasons:

• I like Sanjaya because he is, I would wager, the second most famous Indian ever to inspire hunger strikes in sympathy for his cause.
• I like Sanjaya because a Sanjaya Army exists on MySpace - and apparently so does a Obesity for Sanjaya group (both MySpace sites are media-rich, so I won't link to them). The man deserves an army, an army of fat Indians, I hope. I'll be a general. We'll win the war.
• I like Sanjaya because of the apocryphal notion that the "India effect" is driving Sanjaya's rise to glory - the notion that Indian call-center workers are the motivating force that keep Sanjaya winning. Even if this isn't true, I love the spectre that it raises, of a nation of a billion cell-phone armed Indians texting mediocrity to the top. If not now, soon.
• I like Sanjaya because his sister is apparently not afraid to pull on a Hooter's waitressing outfit (does she actually work at Hooter's?)
• I like Sanjaya because he inspired VotefortheWorst.com, and also, inspired somebody to launch a denial-of-service attack on VotefortheWorst.com.
• I like Sanjaya because he has led me to a website called "Ultrabrown."
• I like Sanjaya because there are theories about Sanjaya. And people do research about Sanjaya.

As Sanjaya says, "I think America is ready for an Indian American Idol. Indian culture is really popular now, a lot of people wear bindis as a fashion statement," said Malakar. "It's time for an Indian musician to come to the scene and I'd like to be that person."

Sanjaya, I think America is ready for you. And, for what it's worth, I'm in your corner.